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Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
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Postings will be sporadic in future as I will not be retaining my phone line much longer.
e-mails to my gmail account please, but nothing urgent as I will not be checking it frequently.
Hopefully I can e-mail my gmail to everyone in my address book, but my user profile on this machine appears to be corrupted and will not load.
Abnormal service may or may not be resumed in the future if there is one.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
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| Time: | 11:27 pm. |
| Mood: |  dumb. | | Music: | Dødheimsgard - "666 International" [is shite, but I like it]. |
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Oops. I fucked up.
Don't ask me what I did, I won't tell you as it is so stupid.
A couple of people recently [they know who they are!] did dumb things.
well, ha! - 'cos I am so dumber than you are.
So there.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
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It is said that there is more than one way to skin a cat, and I can attest to the veracity of this statement.
My favourite method is to take the still-warm cadaver, and stuff a bagful of maggots down the deceased moggy's throat. Maggots do not disperse individually through a carcass, but rather move en masse, devouring muscle, fat, and organs. The hair, bones, teeth, claws, and - crucially - skin are not consumed.
Once the grubs have ingested all, take a rolling pin and carefully crush the skeletal structures within. Patience is necessary - bone fragments can be quite sharp, and you will need to exercise caution if you wish to avoid damage to the integument through piercing by jagged fragments.
This crushing should be done while the carcass is still a roiling sack of larvae, as the resultant maggot paste will make a surprisingly effective lubricant as you carefully sqeeze the shattered bones from the erstwile feline's mouth or, if you prefer, anus.
Your newly-vacated catskin has been acquired without the damage of cutting it open, and can (after, perhaps, a swift wash down) be nailed to the wall as a trophy. Alternatively if you have a cat of your own, you could dress it in the flayed skin (fur-side in) so it can participate in the Aztec feast of the God Xipe Totec.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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Mmmmmm....Vaseline - tasty petroleum snack.
Has anybody found another use for this stuff?
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Subject: | Small print. |
| Time: | 12:42 am. |
| Mood: |  hyperadrenalized. | | Music: | The fizzing and bubbling of ill-advised chemical reactions. |
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Nothing is definitively fucked.
Nothing is definitively fixed.
My state of mind is entirely dependant on how optimistic I am.
I have insufficient information to formulate a coherent opinion on this.
I have been up and down like a ping-pong ball for weeks.
I need to destroy - something. Any thing.
Anyone.
I am telling you this so when my fist busts your face it will be your fault for not having ducked.
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Saturday, September 11th, 2004
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Oh, firstly - yes, Alix, of course you can add me. Sorry, keep forgetting to post that.
In fact, I'd like to give blanket permission for anyone at all to add me, don't bother asking. I've hidden my "friend of" list so you're in no danger of being embarrassed by the association. When the shit hits the fan you can pretend you didn't even know me at all. 8)
Come to think of it, I reckon there should be a "stalking" and "stalked by" list so you can be quite open about keeping track of people without implying that they necessarily want to be associated with you...
Changing tack completely (without even the courtesy of a segue or link) I would like to remark that there are few things which offend me more than people who cannot do their fucking jobs. Get a job you can do and stop wasting everyone's time and money you utter losers.
I am increasingly of the opinion that it may be appropriate to bring Mr Molotov back to the party.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
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| Subject: | Bollocks! |
| Time: | 9:40 pm. |
| Mood: |  Demotivated. | | Music: | Mordant Bloc - "Murder is the New Rape". |
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I thought found some ointment in my fly jar, but on closer inspection it looks suspiciously like dog jism.
Kill me. I won't press charges.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, March 27th, 2004
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1. What's on your bedside table?
An ashtray full of cigarette butts, my 'phone, a glass which previously held vermouth but now holds some cigarette butts, a half-full pot of Vaseline [dude, I'm just answering the questions], a sandwich toaster which has nowhere else to go, an electric shaver, a bottle of guitar polish which should be somewhere else, a notebook for writing the dreams I remember, and an anglepoise lamp which has seen better days.
2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
"Sonata for violin & piano in A major" by Cezar Franck, the Decca recording [I've heard several, and this is the best in my opinion] with Vladimir Ashkenazy on piano and Itzhak Perlman on violin. This is one of the very few major scale pieces I really appreciate. It doesn't feel major scale due to the sheer yearning Franck achieves in the composition. There's a real purity to the way he uses the melodic elements, and the fourth movement, when you reach it, is so massive it hurts. In fact I may just go listen to it right now.
[Also on the CD are a Brahms trio, something by Schumann, and something by Saint-Saëns, all of which utterly suck.]
3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
I raid the fridge only to find there's nothing there. I retire to bed cold and hungry, then lie there shivering until the sun comes up and I can finally sleep...
4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
No film has ever made me cry, but if you catch me watching any romantic comedy you'll know I'm a troubled person.
5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
My scrotum.
6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
I have many. The only thing I rationally fear is myself. [not kidding here.]
7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I know this one, but will not tell you.
8. Do you ever have to beg?
Maybe when I was younger I begged, like begging those cunts at school to stop beating the shit out of me, or not to shove my head down the toilet and then flush the chain, but experience has taught me that begging does no good, whereas extreme violence is highly effective.
Or do you mean beg for money? In which case my position is that I should be better off for the work I do than I am, so for reasons of personal dignity I'd rather resort to banditry than begging.
9. Do you have too many love interests?
No, just always the wrong ones!
10. Do you know anyone famous?
How famous? Who cares?
11. Describe your bed.
It used to be a cabin bed, which I loved, but a while ago I moved into a place where I couldn't get the thing up the stairs, so I had to just saw off the top bit.
12. Spontaneous or plan?
Aw, heck - I always get this one wrong!
13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
I don't care, because by the time they're finished re-hashing the script it won't resemble my life anyway, and they'll have changed my name[s] to something better.
I would just say "me", but I'd prefer more challenging roles - being me is so much harder than playing me ever could be.
14. Do you know how to play poker?
No, it's quicker if I just take all my clothes off right away.
15. What do you carry with you at all times?
Cigarettes, lighter, house keys, spare flints, wallet, more cigarettes, cigarette tin [slightly battered*], regret, insecurity, guilt...
16. How do you drive?
If you'd ever been in a vehicle I was driving, you'd remember. 'Nuff said?
17. What do you miss most about being little?
Evberything else being so big!
18. Are you happy with your given name?
Yes, now that I've changed it by deed poll.
20. What was the last song you were listening to?
Right now it's "This Time" by Life of Agony.
21. Have you ever been in a school play?
Yes.
At North Malvern [primary school] I was in a musical nativity play. I was one of the three kings. My singing was so appalling that all the girls had to sing along with my lines. Just mine.
At The Grove [primary] I was also in a musical, this time a version of the Greek legend of Perseus and the Gorgon. I played Hermes,and had a duet with Athena, during which my part was delivered as spoken word, Noël Coward style, beacause my singing was so appalling.
Some of you may find this illuminating.
All of you can go fuck yourselves.
22. Have you ever been in love?
Maybe, and if so it was the most horrible experience I've ever had. Ever.
</html>
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and it is produced by an inferno of raging flames consuming EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER CARED ABOUT.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Subject: | Blah |
| Time: | 11:32 pm. |
| Mood: | blank. | | Music: | The Merry Thoughts - Millenium Done I: Empire Songs. |
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Nothing I particularly feel like sharing at present, but here's some quiz results...
You're Bauhaus, the grandfather's of goth. You
probably don't call yourself a goth...but that
just makes you cooler. Nice boots, by the way
}:)
What Goth Band Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
____________________________
Industrial rock! Just like Marilyn Manson, you
know what you have to say and you just say it!
I like you very much...just be careful you
don't scare me away...
What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
____________________________
Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
"You do not know the power of the Dark
Side." There are two possibilities: you
are a Star Wars geek, or you are unreasoningly
scary.
Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
____________________________
what decade does your personality live in?
quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
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| Subject: | Oy! No! |
| Time: | 6:03 am. |
| Mood: | aggravated. | | Music: | Coal Chamber - Dark Days. |
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Just stumbled across a band on the web called "Black Bikini Alpha" - did these morons not check the Band Register? Black Alpha has been registered there since 1998, and frankly this is way too close for my liking! I went to their website, but there was no link to e-mail them.
In fact "Black Alpha" is an status level in the Bikini alert system, so the word Bikini does not belong in the middle of the phrase at all. "Bikini Black Alpha" would make sense, [if you want bikinis in your band name], but the way they have it suggests they modified the band name at some stage. Why would they do that unless they were aware of the conflict? The question is, is it enough?
I'll be looking into the legal issues here...
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Black Alpha practise yesterday. Just running through the riffs, but it felt so good - like something real again. Despite not having played these songs for a whole year, Rawbin & Wires remembering much of the stuff quite easily.
Slept well last night, for the first time in about 3 months.
So much to do in the immediate future, but it doesn't seem such a chore any more.
It's as if someone took out the broken brain and rotting heart and gave me bright, clean new ones.
I put all my eggs in one basket, then I lost it. Yet now all around me I hear the clucking of chickens... 8)
Fidelis vincit omnia.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wowww - it rike some kinda metaphor or somefinkkk!!!
Anyone else get this feeling..?
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, March 13th, 2004
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Thursday, March 11th, 2004
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Whilst considering the current state of my life I was inspired to invent a new board game.
It is called "Ladders that turn into snakes halfway up".
Actually, lets just lose the board entirely and simply call it "A Fistful of Snakes Rammed So Far up Your Arse that if You Open Your Mouth a Passerby Would likely Glimpse a Pit Viper".
No, actually, I've got it. The board game to represent my life right now;
It's called "LadderSnake". You start at the bottom of the ladder, ascending, then the ladder turns into a snake, which goes all the way back down, then joins back onto the bottom of the ladder. You just keep going 'round and 'round, and the game ends when you KILL YOURSELF. And even if you just put it down and go do something else - YOU'RE STILL FUCKING PLAYING!!!
A better game - Monopoly Roulette.
To play you need:
1 Monopoly set
1 fully-loaded gun
[a .357 would be ideal - don't use a .44 or everyone will think you have a very small penis. Unless you're a woman - in which case don't use a .44]
Set up the Monopoly set to play as usual, but put a sticker over the "Go to Jail" square and modify it to read "Kill Yourself Immediately". Anyone landing on this square is required to shoot themselves to death without delay.
The winner is the person who siezes the gun before the game begins and shoots everyone else in the room, thus allowing themselves to blow their own brains out in a dignified manner without everone else looking.
Or this - it's more a sport than a game.
It's based on midget hurling, but instead of a midget you hurl yourself. But of course a midget would have comparatively further to fall, so to even it up you hurl yourself out of,say a third floor window.
"But wouldn't it hurt when you landed?" you ask.
No, because you take with you a gun, and immediately exiting the window you discharge this into the side of your head. So you'll feel no pain whatsoever as you impact on the ground below.
The winner is the person whose brains land furthest laterally from their shattered cadaver.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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Some asked - "Do you have a Live Journal?", and I said "no".
Several said - "You should get one."
And for your sins, I have.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
omega_void's journal
educational.
inebriated.
exhilerated by my own agony.
perky.